Birthday

I turned 36 today. I can almost see 40 on the horizon.

• 35 years old
• 34 years old
• 33 years old
• 32 years old
• 31 years old
• 30 years old
• 29 years old
• 28 years old
• 27 years old
• 26 years old
• 25 years old
• 24 years old
• 23 years old
• 22 years old
• 21 years old
• 20 years old
• 19 years old

I recently learned that the famous gaming YouTuber "Bakumatsu Shishi" is celebrating their 17th anniversary, which made me realize my own blog has been around for a similar amount of time.

That said, I can’t say I’ve achieved anything particularly noteworthy. I wouldn’t call the past years meaningless, but I’ve been feeling a growing sense of reflection lately.

One big change over the past year has been — predictably — job changes. I feel like I’ve switched jobs quite a bit again.

I won’t go into details here, but due to my personality, I constantly feel how difficult it is to work with others.

As I get older, I’m more and more aware of how the very act of “working” feels harder — mentally and structurally — and that’s a reality I’m trying to live with. I guess all I can really do is keep going, step by step, doing what I can.

Also, I’ve started writing on note.

Because of that, this blog has gradually leaned more toward tech and gadget topics. Still, writing about birthdays on note felt a bit too… awkward? So I decided I’ll keep birthday posts over here.

I don’t plan to draw a hard line between platforms, but at least for these personal reflections, this blog still feels like the right home.

As for my private life — while there were a few negative events here and there, overall this past year has been relatively peaceful.

After going through things like divorce and losing my beloved dog, I had honestly thought there was nowhere lower to go. So I feel somewhat relieved that, at least this past year, I’ve been spared further major lows.

That said, there’s been an unsettling vibe coming from my parents’ place lately. Aside from that, I’ve had practically no social interaction, and I sometimes wonder if I’ll just live out the rest of my life single.

When I look around, everyone seems happy in their own way. I don’t know how long that happiness will last, but even so — seeing people happy now makes me honestly envious.

Also, it’s been a few months since I bought an electronic drum kit.

I still play it every day, pounding away. It’s fun.

I’ve thought about streaming, but I probably won’t go back to TwitCasting… Still, I don’t really know what platform would be best now.

It’s tough — knowing there’s really no “demand” for what I do.

As for the coming year — I think there are still a lot of uncertainties around work.

If any big changes come up, I’ll write about them again. But for now, being a frontend developer and focusing on my craft is probably my top priority.

Work’s gotten a little busier lately, and I haven’t been able to keep up with the latest info and trends — which is honestly a bit worrying.

Still, I know panicking won’t help. I just have to keep moving forward at my own pace.

On the personal side, I don’t think there’ll be any major changes.

I really don’t have any social life, and since I work fully remotely, I’m home pretty much 24/7.

Honestly, I can go months without stepping outside. It’s not even a joke — I really do feel like I’m going crazy sometimes.

But, it’s not like I built up any meaningful relationships in the first place. So it’s hard to complain — I’ve kind of brought this on myself.

Anyway, that’s where things stand. I wonder what my life will look like this time next year.

I have no idea — but maybe that’s what makes it interesting.

Here’s to embracing what my 36th year has to offer.